the inspired family

on the heels of a restless night… reading obama’s book in the wee hours trying to quiet the hebejeebies… i found myself in a pretty good state of mind.  opportunities arise.  they linger a little… and then move on, perhaps not what i thought they were.  keeping in mind the tale of the old farmer and his son and the power in maintaining a “maybe” state of mind.

so today…  i chose mellow.  chose not to worry.  after something of a grey mood of yesterday -apparently annoying to those in any proximity- and fighting off my bogey men in the deep, darkness of last night, this day was a good one.

on many days, like this one, when i choose presence rather than worry, i enjoy the wonder of what might come each day.  seems something always does, in one way or another.

so, today… no snooze.  minimized the junk food- taking a meat and cheese hiatus.  needing yoga, but finding it hard to squeeze in since company.  things are busy in the wake of the holiday. class on thursday which should get me back in the saddle… but that’s thursday.

today:  a client’s exuberance.  the word ‘pickle’.  honey- sesame bars. left-overs. gravy.

freckles benign, requiring merely a dab of acid.  load. off!  my friendly new doctor lady.

junk box of bills, invoices, receipts, statements, etc! filed away and ready to go to accountant- dad!  tying up loose ends.

sigh.  a day with tied loose ends… choosing mellow… choosing presence.  and a client’s exuberance.  a darn good day.

it’s a summer, and soon to be autumn, that has passed for this 2009 and with all of the photos i’ve shot of the kids, not a one that could be considered a contender for this year’s all-important christmas card… until today.  under the promise of  warming up with hot chocolate and treats at our local coffee shop, i was able to drag the brood off to a favourite portrait location in hopes of a suitable kid portrait for the .

one would think that as a professional i’d have a glut of possibilities. not so.  if anything, this gang can be less amenable out of sheer boredom with having a lens in their faces!  in fact, i have more food chewing, nose-picking, just plain bad attitude shots than any parent- even photographer parent- deserves!

but, despite having to be bribed, everybody totally got into it and mission was accomplished, adding to a pretty durned great day…

energetic practice- hot, sweaty, long… head to knees- yeah, ba-byyy!!

vanilla soy latte, hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and checkers.

less breeze, more sun.

fun with ol’ bessy and my minions- doesn’t get much better for a mid-november afternoon.

a happy client from the weekend… and a subsequent happy referral from happy client booked for next weekend- whooot!

time alone with baby girl… tutus… little girl’s size 11 dance slippers.

the big head of a honey beast resting in my lap asking for loves.

a pinch of time to sneak off for parent/teacher interview… with hubby. ahem.

two boys old enough to be trusted to clean the kitchen alone… and slightly fewer bowls used than yesterday- progress?

happy for tuesday… mondays can just sometimes suck and it’s hard to squeeze out the gratitude… so i just didn’t try.  tucked boys to bed, curled up the girl child with me and fell asleep with a good book.   yesterday… tired, cranky and getting bearings for a new week.

today, a little more on track.  not really digging the down days and wondering, even though nothing tangible changes from one day to the next, what and where is the shift?  hormones?  sleep?  pizza?  I don’t know, but i’d really love the bouts of empowerment, excitement and joy to stick around a little longer.

but, really, a day like today is just fine.  productive.  pretty positive.  taking time for the kids.

oh, and windy.  i’m not much for wind.  just ask my dog… she’s about had it with my skimping on the walks.  i feel guilty every time i pass her eyes gazing at me with needy expectation from the doggy-bed.

but, be that as it may… this day:

while not one for the record books, a day of mostly :

coffee… oh, heavenly hot orgasm in a cup!  ginger snap(s!). morning quiet.

a solid series of  sun salutations I and II, throwing in a glorious dancing warrior… and then letting that be all for today.  listening.  surrender.  the feeling of my back on the floor in savasana… hard but so very welcome.

a morning of solid schoolwork… with all three kids individually!  little or no drama.  cooperation. organization.  lame attempts at fibs- these kids are painfully- comically- transparent.

images.  words.

daddy taking a much-needed break to ruthlessly dominate the world in risk- you can take the boy out of america….

girl child’s gift for mimicry.  belly laughs!  unicorn puzzles.  match game.

possibilities.

edited to add:  kids love tilapia of all things.  the meditation that is washing dishes.  the gentle lure of my bed, which will host story time in less than one short hour.  so you think you can dance- and I do so, but it’s over two hours away, which in my early bird gets the worm world might as well be midnight.

battling fear. working hard to embrace not knowing. working harder to embrace surrender. working to be at peace with uncertainty.  knowing that i ought not be making this so much work!

my renewed enthusiasm for yoga is encouraging. exciting.  invigorating.  affirming.

my renewed enthusiasm for bread… not so much.

this is a navigation.  through vast, unknown waters… and briefly at times, vast, suffocating darkness.

i catch myself wishing there was a way to turn back.  but to where, exactly?  the familiar… in all of its cranky, miserable, stressed out comfort?  that path is so close to overgrown it’s almost impassable.

we’ve taken the leap… the only direction is forward.  wherever that leads us….

oh please… enough debbie downer.  go see tracey… she’s having pie for heaven’s sake!

i came across some of our images from summer as I perused files for family photobook… and with the clouds hanging low in the valley for the better part of the week… this is where i found my happy place.
space heaters are a remarkable invention… early mornings and yoga are that much easier with a blast of hot air on the tootsies!

kittens love space heaters too… i am the most popular of human companions.

gratitude… or perhaps denial… keeps things joyously afloat as we settle into the uncertainty.  it’s two months embracing the unknown, while moving forward into that which we know… all is- and will continue to be- well.

reminding ourselves this is what it is to design a life rather than just merely live one.

the first organized halloween EVER.  all in order by around three yesterday.  friends.  great weather.  full moon.

best halloween yet!

things happen for a reason… even if that means up all night with one’s head unexplainably hanging over a small garbage bin… yacking! but…

…as I say, things happen for a reason, and a day of rest was probably necessary.

the creative juices, while being encouraged to flow freely, have also been challenged like never before…

so, again, a day of rest was probably necessary.

i’m enjoying this day, and looking forward to getting out again tonight, camera in hand to see what i can see.  i’m feeling better… a child old enough to run to pick up a pepsi (nearest shop doesn’t sell coke?!)… premium plus… my sofa… a blow-y, blustery, hazy day that allows for lounging on said sofa without guilt… kittens to snuggle… sock puppets… comic books… a fort of weeds… a husband, understanding… a little time to replenish the pot….

summer is not yet half over, though the weather indicates fall on it’s way. there’s an abundance of rain. wind. thunder. green. we’re working hard to embrace the uncertainty. no longer a matter of months. it now sits patiently, pleasantly, on our doorstep. we greet it warmly, but are not yet ready to invite it in.